Stepmom Starter Pack – 11 things you’ll need.
So, you’ve taken on the role of stepmom and parent. Congratulations! Now, here’s a short list of essentials you’ll need to survive this rollercoaster ride:
- Wipes
Kids are messy—like, really messy. You’ll notice everything is sticky: walls, handles, light switches, seatbelts—everything. Imagine them eating a Nutella-filled cookie with a runny nose, wiping their face with their hands, and then casually touching every white wall and railing in the house. You’ll want to keep wipes on you like a cowboy keeps his six-shooter—especially in the car, because there’s no running water when you’re on the go.
- Car Trash Can
For the mountain of wipes, tissues, and random wrappers that seem to multiply in your car. Even if there’s no food allowed, they’ll still manage to generate trash. It’s a kid superpower.
- Water Bottles
Reusable water bottles are key. But here’s the catch—they’ll lose them, often. So, stock up and be prepared for an ongoing game of “where’s the water bottle?”
- Cooler
Perfect for stashing snacks, water, and anything else to prevent a hanger meltdown (because trust me, it’s coming). Having food on hand is like defusing a ticking time bomb—best to be prepared.
- Snack Stash
One for them and one (secret) stash for you. Keep easy-to-grab snacks like Clif Bars or crackers for the kids to curb the hanger. For yourself? Hide your favorites in your personal hideout. Sometimes, a well-hidden chocolate bar is your only saving grace.
- Big Sunglasses (for crying)
You’ll cry. Oh, you’ll cry. Keep those oversized shades handy for when the tears start flowing—yours, not theirs. It’s like armor for your emotions.
- The All-Powerful Sports Chair
Forget blending into the crowd. Grab one of those big, lifeguard-style chairs that gives you height. Front-row view at soccer practice? Yes, please. You deserve the best seat in the house.
- Headphones
Sometimes, you need to drown out the constant noise. Whether it’s arguing, whining, or just endless questions, noise-canceling headphones will become your new best friend.
- Boo-boo Buddies
For every tiny scratch, bump, and imaginary injury, these are magical. Pop one out, and suddenly, that life-threatening scrape disappears. They work like charm bracelets for injuries.
- A Hiding Place
This is non-negotiable. Whether it’s a closet, the bathroom, or (like me) the garage, find your sanctuary. When the chaos gets overwhelming, you’ll need a place to disappear, even if it’s just to breathe, scream into a pillow, or sneak a snack.
- A Plan for “You’re Not My Real Mom”
This one’s a doozy. It’ll happen when you least expect it—whether during a peaceful teeth-brushing session or in the middle of a full-blown tantrum. Have a plan, a mantra, or whatever you need to not take it personally. Because, let’s be honest, you saw it coming, right?